


Turning Tables

by Chyleau



Category: Original Work
Genre: Evil Princess, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:47:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24770305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chyleau/pseuds/Chyleau
Summary: The Hero has come to vanquish the Villain. Things do not go as planned.
Kudos: 4





	Turning Tables

The Hero stormed the dilapidated house, intent on vanquishing his greatest enemy.  
  
Then, naturally, he got lost.  
  
It turned out, unlike in his other daring conquests, there were not any lackeys or minions roaming the halls to defeat and interrogate. Apparently, the architecture was its own defender, as he learned after roaming the halls with no luck for hours.  
  
Finally, out of breath from running up a staircase he had been certain would lead to the more-monster-than-man but had in fact just ended up in a strangely feminine portion of the property he’d been roaming for what felt like an eternity.  
  
“Excuse me, why on Earth are you in my chambers?”  
  
The Hero was not proud to admit it, but the lilting voice of the young woman from the shadows of the room made him jump.  
  
“My Lady?”  
  
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t think so, or you wouldn’t be violating my privacy like this. Even Father does not come here without my express permission, which I haven’t granted in about six months.”

“Father?”  
  
“Oh, stop making questions of single words! It annoys me.”  
  
“I… I…” The Hero was caught off guard. He continued on his script, though some part of him knew this situation did not involve a damsel in distress like he had hoped. “My Lady, I apologize, I can help you if you are a prisoner…if you could show me the way to where your vicious captor hides…”  
  
“Save your breath,” she snapped, stepping out of the darker shadow into what passed for the well-lit (but still dark) area of the room. Her hair was dark, straight, and fell to her waist. Her eyes were blue. And her beauty surpassed any of the maidens he had ever saved. “I’m not a captive princess, moron. I’m the daughter and heiress of the man you want to vanquish but, unsurprisingly, can’t even find. We had a fight this morning at breakfast over the quality of the oranges. I imagine he’s gone to find me better ones, as I requested.”  
  
“But it’s the middle of winter,” the Hero said, stunned. Half the population was starving, and this girl complained of the quality of the fruit. “And also a famine.”  
  
“I can barely even express how little I care,” she responded, walking over to a throne-like chair on the other side of the room and taking a seat. “Point is, your enemy is not home. He left this morning to provide for his daughter, as is his duty which I reminded him at… shall we say, an impressive volume.”  
  
The Hero swallowed, nervous. From what he had heard, the evil monster of a man tormenting this land was unswayable and beyond reason. He was beginning to think the true threat in the household stood before him, and he did not even dare draw his sword against her.  
  
“Wise decision,” the Daughter responded, as though she heard the Hero’s thoughts. Oh God, what if she had somehow sensed his earlier ill-advised attraction?  
  
“I would hardly need to read your mind to know that, but yes, I did,” the Daughter answered again. “Now, I think it’s time for you to get out of _my_ Castle, hmm? Go down the stairs, take a left at the dragon statue, and stroke the portrait of horses which will then open to a tunnel which will lead you outside the Northern border. You can have your ridiculous conflict when I take my tour of the Dark Courts come Spring.”  
  
The brave and valiant Hero turned and ran to follow her order. There were other kingdoms he could save. This one was beyond his current ability, and he decided it would remain so for the rest of his natural life.  
  
The Daughter, alone once more, cackled. As always, she had won. She would find a challenge someday, but today was not that day. For now, she would have to settle for imagining worthy opponents. Still, even such an easy victory was as sweet as the oranges she would soon once more taste.


End file.
